my dark little ninja secret
by kitty2142
Summary: after being betrayed by who she thought were her friends kagome agrees to go to another world and protect those who are in danger. while in that world will she find love or more heartbreak. and what little dark secret is she hiding? well you must read to find out. kagome was sent back as a 5 year old an the kyubii was her father but only the hokage knows. hiatus writers block
1. Final battle or is it?

Kitty2142. Chap 1

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

4:54 AM

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing (cries)T-T**

**Chapter one: The Final Battle**

Blood and gore covered the ground throughout the entire field. Kagome, and the rest of the inutachi along with some unexpected allies. Being Sesshomaru, his retainer Jaken, Kouga and his wolf pack along with Kagome's worst 'enemy' Kikyo…..cough…Kikyho. The battle has been going on for days everyone was tired they were starting to lose hope until….Naraku called out to them.

"Foolish little girl," Naraku sneered.

"I'm not the foolish one Naraku you are for FIGHTING ME," Kagome screamed back with no fear in her voice "Gee guess when Kami was handing out brains you shut the door in his face and missed out" hah? or else you would not be here committing suicide by daring to take me on"

"Is that so I'm not the one fighting by myself" he retorted smirking manically "Looks to me as though your so called friends have abandoned you," he taunted trying to make her lose hope and weaken her resolve

"What do you me…AHHHHHHH!" Kagome didn't get to finish and cried out in agony when suddenly a searing pain shot through her because Inuyasha had stabbed tessaiga through her shoulder.

"You really think we would be friends with you a weak little ningen," Inuyasha says chuckling evilly "Wake up to reality,"

"Half breed," she bit "You are half human so that makes you half weak ningen,"

"Shut it bitch," and that was what told her she'd hit a nerve

"Half breed half witted," she added no longer caring "You'll never be half the man your brother is," she cried out in pain again when the hanyou slightly twisted the sword in her shoulder "Cor-corpse fucker,"

"Who's the superior one now? Useless weakling"

Though his cruel words were like flaming daggers plunging into and burning her heart she was not about to give the traitorous hanyou the pleasure of knowing it either. Kagome immediately became enraged and the piece of the soul Kikyho had shot out of her and sped towards Kagome. The closer it got the darker red it became. When it finally reached Kagome a blinding light surrounded the field.

When the light dimmed down every one gasped standing in Kagome's place was now a beautiful 50 tailed wolf demoness with piercing red eyes burning with hate. she now had long black hair that became blood red the lower you looked. She wore spike boots, a black ninja long jacket that was clipped around her neck so her arms didn't have to be in the sleeves, a shirt with a black wolf with red tipped tails and ears on the front, she also had a bandana around her head coving her right eye.

Everyone in the field was so shocked that no one could move or speak except Kagome. She leapt from where she was standing and smiled sadistically when as she ripped Naraku's heart out an ear piercing scream broke the silence. Grabbing the jewel he possessed while doing so. Once she grabbed the jewel she purified him along with everyone else who were secretly demons in disguise. Kagome was so heartbroken that she was betrayed. She was surprised when Midoriko emerged from the jewel in front of her.

"Kagome I do not mean to hurt you more than you already are but another world needs you right now, you can either stay here and wallow in your depression or you can go to the new world and get away from here and protect people that will be in danger," Midoriko explained "There you will gain true friends who will love and never betray you,"

"I don't have a choice and I have nothing here anymore so yes I'll go to this new world and help those in need," Kagome said.

"Ok but first you need to have ninja and jutsu training as well as learn how to hone and use your miko powers in the jewel I will teach you," Midoriko stated.

"Alright…whatever you say….mother," mused Kagome.

Midoriko rolled her eyes "Then come my daughter we shall begin now," Midoriko motioned.

'Yes much to learn' she thought hatefully "When would her own happiness come? She wondered when would her time come to be loved? As they entered the portal Midoriko had opened it bathed them in its warm blue light they were transported to Midoriko's world

So tell me how you like it so far if anyone has any tips for me please do tell me I'm a new writer on here. The pairing will be Kakashi and Kagome.

Please review and I'll give you a donut.

"You mean it I really get a donut? Woo hoo score" sorry could not resist muwhahaha


	2. Training complete!

Kitty2142. Chap 2 Wednesday, March 26, 2014 5:04 AM Disclaimer: I own nothing {cries} T-T

I had just finished meditating when my mother Midoriko came out from her hut inside the jewel. It was just like any other day she would train me in my Justus then go into her hut so I could meditate. Little did I know that my days training in the jewel are over and that my new life is about to begin.

"Kagome," Midoriko called out to her.

"Yes, mother," she answered.

"Your days training in the jewel are over its time for you to go to the new world and save it just like the last one." She explained. "

All right what do I need to do," Kagome answers. "Then I send you there you will be a new born infant yet you will remember all of your training and still be able to do it as well you will be the same person as well,"

"What? Are you kidding me? Oh nice teething wearing diapers pacifiers again eew gross" what did I ever do to you? She teasingly replied but was serious at the same time

"Would you rather I put you back in the womb again? Midoriko shot back "Kagome's eyes widened with a comical WTF look making Midoriko smirk oh how she loved yanking Kagome's chain "Why you,"

Midoriko gave me the information along with and amulet and black bandanna to put over my eye a black mask to cover my bottom half of my face. "Kagome only the hokage and the people you truly trust may know of your demonic heritage the bandanna is to cover up you kekkai geikai {my own made up one I call it demonic eye} and the mask is to cover up the marks on your face that show your heritage as a wolf demon," Midoriko said handing each item to me.

"May I keep the clothes I wear now as well and may I keep my hair and left eye the same too? Kagome requests.

"Yes my daughter you may now please fair well my dear you will still be able to communicate with me by contacting me with your mind," Midoriko said. "My daughter also I must warn you an attack has just finished up in the village it was attacked by a 9 tailed fox some call him nine tails his name is Kurama," Midoriko finished saying.

"Alright mother I'll be careful," Kagome assures her.

"Yes and the foxes' host is named Naruto Uzumaki, now goodbye contact me on your eleventh birthday the year after you graduate from ninja academy ok," Midoriko wished her luck then transported her to Naruto's world the hidden leaf village

"Naruto like that name,"

After Kagome disappeared "Oh if she only knew what e hellion and practical joker he is,"

'Why it is that I have a feeling mommy dearest is hiding something from me? Kagome thought while being carried to Naruto's world

**NOTE**

Hope you don't mind but if not feel free to kill me lol muwhahaha. In Naruto Shippuden ep **329** they reveal Naruto's fox is named [ **Kurama** ] it's freakin hilarious when Naruto thanks the fox for helping him and the fox says "Don't do that it's sickening,"who knew the fox was a wiseass? hehehe, LMAO. They make friends to

Raven

Hee hawed you thought I was gonna get to the kyuubie attack in this chapter didn't you well it's gonna be in the next chapter so don't worry little ass off I didn't forget you. Now please review and I'll give you a dozen chocolate glazed donates promise And yes I know this is short. MWUahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!


	3. kurama rages war

**Kurama wages war**

Violent growls of rage tore through the night "He-he's too powerful can-can't hold on much longer," one ninja gasped drained from the heavy amount of chakra he was using in an attempt to restrain the creature

"We cannot stop now," another spoke, crash snap rang out as a building collapsed and another tree snapped in half

A burning red aura accompanied by raging flames surround the nine tails known as Kurama as the battle raged on it was abundantly clear that this kyuubi was not going down easy. His glowing rage filled blood red eyes pierced the very souls of all of the onlookers who caught his murderous gaze sending icy chills down the spines of even the most hardened warriors

"Are you ready yet?

"It will take all you've got," Sarutobi said heartbreak for what had to be done next piercing his heart 'Minato I am sorry my friend' he thought

"Minato, Kushina where are they? A villager asked

"Minato disappeared a moment ago," a female shinobi replied

"He went to do what needs to be done," Sarutobi sadly answered others pretended not to notice a single tear that slid down his cheek

"There he is over there he's about to go head to head with the kyuubi," Jiraiya said

Powers created an eerie glow in the darkness as Minato and Kurama the fox began a vicious battle, Minato's heart broke as he thought about how he'd never get to see Kushima, or be there for her and his new born son in order to contain the fox inside a human vessel and seal him away Minato had to sacrifice his own life but he was willing even at the cost of his own life

'I'm sorry Kushima, my son but it's the only way I will always love you' he thought pain weighing heavy on him crushing his mind body and soul

Chains shot forth from Kushina's body wrapping themselves around the enraged kyuubi, Minato completed the death reaper spell, he watched as she held her their newborn son. Minato cried he knew her chakra chains were draining and killing her, she had intended to die for him and Naruto to live. Using his jutsu he summoned forth an alter and they laid Naruto in the center.

While Kurama raged on over being sealed away again Minato stood with his back to the death reaper behind him. Kurama lunged forward in an attempt to kill Naruto with his giant claw Kushina, and Minato jumped in front of their son and Kurama's huge claw pierced through them impaling them like meat on a stick. Kushina was being held from behind by Minato, and the death reaper hovered above waiting

"I can't be without you I'd die anyway, I know it's selfish but I want to go with you," she answered

"Thank you, it is time, let us say our parting words to our son before the sealing is done,"

"Take care of yourself, find a nice girl and make sure she loves you for you," she said

"Be strong live well and be happy my son," Minato spoke, while they gazed upon their son his grip tightened around her as they slipped into darkness

Someone appeared in the distance and soon baby Naruto was lifted off the ground "Let's go home little one," Sarutobi said and headed toward the village. Stopping he looked back one last time his heart broke for the parents who'd given their lives and would never see their son again "I will take good care of him," he promised then turned around and continued back toward the village

That night he had the bodies collected there'd be a funeral the following day, the next day the funeral was a sad and somber occasion tears poured from the eyes of the villagers for the loss of their beloved hokage and his wife.

12 years later

Naruto Jiraiya had predicted would grow up to be the village holy terror and many occasions proved the toad sage right. The boys sense of humor was completely warped and beyond belief

"Naruto Uzumaki today is the day you die," furious Iruka bellowed

"What has our boy done now? Kakashi calmly asked

"Oh something sick I am sure," Jiraiya spoke "I think this time Iruka will make good on his promise this time,"

"Will somebody tell me what is going on" or do I have to kill someone? Kiba asked

"What a drag," Shikamaru added in his usual bored tone

"Iruka sensei entered the classroom and immediately stopped dead in his tracks when he saw something unbelievable. The loser stood on Iruka sensei's desk in his sexy jutsu form doing a stripper dance," Sasuke told them

"Heee what? A female voice yelled in fury "If Iruka doesn't kill him I will," Tsunade added

"That little pervert I am going to pound him," Sakura bit slamming one fist into the palm of her hand

"Uh oh, angry female alert," Choji, Sheeno, and Kakashi said in unison

"Oh quiet you three," Tsunade replied

"Run for your lives men," Jiraiya couldn't resist

"Can it king of all perverts," Tsunade shot back

"Hey I didn't teach him the sexy jutso the kid developed and perfected it all on his own," Jiraiya defended

"Ah hah and I'm sure your perverted ways were a big influence on him after all he is at that impressionable age," Trunade replied

"Really sorry to disappoint but he did have that particular Jutsu down pat before I even met him

"He has you there Tsunade," Kakashi added

One week later

"Get back here you dirty dog,' a female voice snapped

"That's fox baby and no I'm not stopping it's alllll mine,"

"Give it back you little weasel or I swear I am goning to make sushi out of you," she threatened

"Sorry Gome nothing doing,"

"Why you," Kagome bit

"Why me what, sweet cheeks?" Naruto taunted as he continued running with his prize in his hands

"Give me that roast beef back you creep,"

"Sorry wolfy but the roast beast is all mine I'll share with you nobody else," he replied

"Oh how kind you're going to share my roast beef with me,"

"Sure I'm not greedy," he teased

"Weasel Uzuratty I am going to kill you,"

"Squeak, squeak," he replied then shifted to the left trying to outrun the furious female, bam "Ow, damn you," and looked up

"Oops clumsy," a gloating after tripping him male said

"Sasuke you traitor," Narutu griped

"Kagome may I have some of the meat to make a sandwich with later on I'm dying for some beef," Neji asked after catching the meat that was sent flying after Naruto hit the ground

"Sure,"

"Ooooooooo, you give him some but not me,"

"Yes but Neji isn't a thieving rat faced little weasel like you,"

"Awww and I was gonna have some with my ramen," Naruto protested

"Ramen," Kiba exclaimed hopped on Akamaru and took off

"Nooooo" Naruto wailed when he saw what Kiba came back with

"It's only fair you know I had planned to share this with everyone that's why I cooked such a large piece of meat in the first place," Kagome informed him

"But-but," Naruto whined when he saw Kiba passing out his ramen stash to the others :Oh no my ramen supply it it's all gone,"

"Thank you Ruto," the girls said and winked

"Thank you fox boy," the males teasingly added and everyone started chowing down

"Now this is a show worth watching," Jiraiya said to his companions

"Quite enjoyable," Kakashi spoke

"Ah makes up for all the times he pranked me," Iruka added

"Hehehe this is epic," laughing Shizune replied

plz review


	4. Naruto's new Jutsu

**Chap 4**

**Naruto's New Kutsu and A Senseis worse Nightmare**

"Naruuuuuto" a male voice bellowed

"Yeeeees, can I help you with something?"

"Yeah start digging your grave,"

"Aw come on ya know ya love me," Naruto taunted

"Really buckle up rat boy cause it's going to be a swift ride to hell,"

"Gulp, oh craaaaap," Naruto's fear filled voice echoed throughout the area

Outside

"What the hell's goi? Choji started but stopped when he heard

Boom

"What the hell was that? Tsunade asked

"Demolition perhaps," Kakkashi added smirking like mad

"Uh oh he sounds pissed, really pissed," Sakura said

"Yeeeeeow," a pain filled shriek caught their attention

"What a drag," shikimaru exclaimed

Thump "Hehehehehe my stomach oh I I'm dying ," someone who had just hit the ground said holding their stomach

"Sasuske." everyone spoke at the same time

"You, you should se-see it oh my God Naruto i-is sick,"

"What the? Kakashi started but was interrupted by another voice

"Boss lady you won't believe it," landing on her knees just arriving Kagome said to Tsunade "Na-Naruto's dead for sure no turn turning back now," panting laughing Kagome added

"Well somebody tell me something soon before the bodies start piling up," cracking her knuckles Tsunade replied

"Naruto has a new Jutsu and, and it's," panting Sasuske got out

"And? Tsunade replied

"It is the sickest thing," Kagome managed to say between gasps for air

"Come on, come on, come on out with it the suspense is killing me already," Aruka commanded

"It cough it started in class," Sasuske started telling the tale

**Flash back**

Naruto stood on one of the classroom desks using his new and very perverted jutsu a sexy voluptuous dark haired naked woman "Hey big boy wanna take it for a test drive? She tempted and winked seductively "Bet your an all niter," he taunted

"End it now or die you blond haired troll," the indignant male demanded "Of all the sick things you've ever done this far surpasses them all,"

"Jiraiya sensei don't take on so I'm eighteen so that means I'm legal," Naruto continued his taunting "Big boy and big all over I bet especially where it counts" hah?

"Narutooooo,"

"Take it easy hot stuff I ain't going nowhere we can take it slow lover a big strong boy like you can handle little old me," Jiraiya gave him a look he'd never seen before sending cold chills down his spine Jiraiya reminded him of a demon "Uh oh"

"Uh oh isn't the half of it kid," Jiraiya replied a huge power ball forming in his hand "Hehehe" Naruto ran then boom was heard "Get back here and take it like a man you fleeing mouse,"

'Oh what the hell I am as good as dead anyway' the blond haired hellion thought "Oh I knew you loved me you man you,"

Boom, bang, crash

"Oh crap," fleeing Naruto exclaimed

"Hope ya wore steel lined draws kid cuz this is going to hurt like hell," Jiraiya taunted his prey forming a new power ball in his hand to hit Naruto in the ass with only this one was the size of a foot ball

"But, but pervy sage," and the war continued

**Back with the others**

"You know what the worst part is? Kagome said

"No, what?" the rest of the bystanders asked

"His new naked jutsu girl has Shi-Shizune's face," Sasuske finished

"Whoaaa shit," Tsunade exclaimed "He is lucky she is out of town right now,"

"I cannot wait until she finds out when she comes back that'll be awesome," Aruka said

Back with Naruto and Jiraiya

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow that one nearly singed my boy toys ya miserable geezer" what about the guys rule not hitting below the waist aka the forbidden zone? What the hell did they ever do to you?

"You need to worry about Shizune when she returns and finds out what you did she may remove your jewels," Jiraiya replied and grinned when his pupil gulped hard "So that makes my scorching your toys more like a mosquito bite compared to what she'll do, better pack your bags and leave town for a while,"

"Ohhhhh," Naruto whined "Ahhhhhh" he shrieked when a big power ball struck his back side "Oh damn you,"

"Heads up rat boy,"

"Oh crap" the fleeing boy gasped and tried dodging the next attack but that was the kill strike Naruto was down for the count there he was still running wearing nothing but his under ware and a deep red face

"Narutooooo" Sakura bellowed when she saw it

"I'll dig the grave," Kiba said

"And I will get and carve his name on the headstone, what a drag," Shikimaru added

"So he has special panties," Choji teased

"Shut it creep," Sakura bit she was fuming because all over Naruto's blue under wear were pictures of her face and property of Sakura written above his male treasure

"Nice draws kid had em special made, hah?" Jiraiya teased

"Oh no she saw and I'm dead," Naruto whined "Thanks a lot if you hadn't of scorched my damned clothes off she would have never know,"

"Then you should have thought of that before using the sick new jutsu of yours on me" hah? Jiraiya reminded

"Jiraiya sensei save some for me," Sakura called out

"Sure fifty, fifty split,"

"Bastard," Naruto cursed

"Stop whining you need the exercise you were getting a bit thick around the middle," Jiraya jabbed

"Why you," Naruto snapped "Oh no" he whimpered when he next saw Sakura coming "What am I gonna do? Akamaru barked his joy loving the three way pursuit

"Man up Shizuruto," she shot back combining the first part of Shizune's name part Of Naruto's

"Hey blonde show us some leg," Sasuske taunted

"Yeah and put some ass into it," Choji needled

"Yes I love a girl with a thick ass," Kiba needled

"No boobs, what a drag," Shikimaru added "I've heard of an A cup but she doesn't have that damn didn't know they had a zero cup,"

"You sons of bit," naruto started then paused "Zero cup hey, why you,"

"Boobs, boobs, we want boobs," Kiba jabbed

"Yee ha get along little missy," Choji teased

"Shut uuuuuuup" Naruto yelled "Ahhhhh, damn it Sakura that was hitting below the belt," he shrieked when she formed ice crystals and sent them down the front of his underwear

"I know muwhahaha,"

"Yo frosty Uzumaki," Aruka taunted

"Laugh it up now while you can later on I'm killing every one of you bastards believe it," Naruto promised

"I'd crap my panties if that threat came from a man instead of a girl," Sasuske replied

"Panties," Kagome repeated cracking up

**Thieving foxes never learn**

A few days later

"Oh my god," sniffing Choji exclaimed

"What did ya forget to put clean draws on this morning and your feeling un fresh? Sasuske needled

"No you dogs chocolate bar, I'm in heaven" don't you smell that scent of paradise sent from heaven above?

Sasuske sniffed followed by Kiba, and Shikimaru, then Akamaru "Howl" even the dog voiced his approval

"See even he knows," Choji pointed out

"You know what this means boys? Sasuske said

"Kaggys famous," the other males started but stopped when they heard

"Give it back or there'll be dire and deadly consequences," Kagome warned while in hot pursuit of her prey

"Oh no what did he do this time? Aruka asked

"The kittle creep swiped her delicious roast beef she roasted and was going to share with us," Jiraiya told them

"I'll kill him," the younger males snapped

"Think she's got that covered dude," sadistically smiling Kiba said

"As if," fleeing Naruto replied still hanging on to his prize

"Oh really weasel boy?'

"Yeah really, and that's fox not weasel,"

"Poor Kurama being stuck inside of a thieving rat fink my heart breaks for him" Kagome insulted

**Kurama**

"Just give it back to her,"

**Naruto**

"No way so shut you,"

**Kurama**

"I ought to roast you," he said then started to raise Naruto's body temperature "Forgot didn't you?

**Naruto**

"You lousy," he started but fell silent when he felt a hand on his butt "Uh oh," Kurama immediately stopped raising the temperature

**Kurama**

"Hehehe dumb ass,"

"Ahhhh" Naruto shrieked oh I for,"

**Kurama**

"Forgot about her miko powers my aren't you a genius, ha, ha dummy, hm tingly nice for me though,"

"Oh my butt is tingling," Naruto exclaimed after being miko zapped again

"Forgot about the miko part of her, hah?" Juraiya taunted

"Get him boys," Sasuske called out

"Uh oh, ah crap," the meat thief exclaimed just before he was pounced on by his male comrades

"I'll go get the stash," Jiraiya whispered in Aruka's ear

"Jiraiya you are so wicked," Tsunade whispered

Aruka snatched the roast beef, a few minutes later "No you can't," Naruto whined

"We can and we did," the others said

"Ohhhhhhh" he moaned and whined while he sat on the ground tied to a pole watching not only the meat being eaten but his entire stash of ramen being devoured by the whole group "Jiraiya sensei,"

"Ah, ah kid you should've thought of that before you swiped Kagome's delicious so good it's finger lit makes your mouth water roast beef,"

"Yeah she made it for everybody we we're all going to partake in the feast you included but no you had to roast beef jack the meat," Aruka scolded

"But I'm so hungry,"

**Kurama**

"Thanks a lot and I love meat to,"

**Naruto**

"Bite me,"

**Kurama**

"Never tempt a fox, especially a hungry one," he replied then growled angrily

**Kagone**

"Don't worry handsome your my baby I've got a stash for you,"

**Kurama**

"You can mind speak and he doesn't know it, hehehe,"

**Kagome**

"Tell ya what you have the power to put him to sleep do that then come out and have a meat party,"

**Kurama**

"You mean it? A feast just for me? Something other muckin suckin ramen? Oh this is why I love females you're so sneaky"

"Yawn, I I'm so sleepy," Naruto said then quickly drifted off into a deep sleep

"Come on out my favorite fox," Kagome coaxed

"Pant, pant slurp," Kurama responded after coming out

"There ya go big boy," he lowered his head and let her pat it and nearly purred with joy

His eyes grew impossibly wide and bugged out when she reached behind a huge tree and pulled out a cart on wheels with roast beef, chicken and other various meats on it "Pant, slurp I love you," his mouth was watering "If you weren't different species and my daughter I would make you my mate," he immediately went to work on the meat

"Now that's what I like to see a man enjoying his meal," she teased" and ewwww dad, gross"

"Kurama long time no see," Jiraiya joked

"Ah ha chomp chew,"

"Eat up kid," Jiraiya said

The following week

Naruto watched in silence noticing something then started relentlessly and mercilessly teasing a certain female "Ooo she's got a crush, she's got a crush,"

"Shut up freak before I slaughter you," she snapped

"Oh I'm shivering with fear," Naruto wisecracked

"That's it that's it right there todays the day you die you creeeeep," she bellowed

"What is it this time? Aruka asked

"Yes do tell, what has suicide boy gotten himself into now?" Tsunade inquired

"Well it seems that never learns holy terror is teasing a girl about a crush she has on someone but he hasn't named the lucky guy yet," Jiraiya answered

"What a drag and I want to know so bad," Shikimaru exclaimed

"I can just beat a confession out him," Choji offered

"Nah then we won't get to see her pound him," Sasuske said

"This is true," Kiba exclaimed "But if he doesn't say soon I might just have Akamaru start gnawing on his tender cheeks,"

"Hehehethen he'll have to take class standing up the whole day," Sakura added

"Exactly," Kiba replied

Back with Naruto and the girl

"She's got a crush,"

"That's it," she snapped at the same time lunging with her hands extended to strangle him

"Missed me, missed me and now you have to kiss me," Naruto taunted after dodging the attack turning around bending over and waving his butt from side to side

"Remember muffin you asked for it," she replied she said with a, energy ball in her hand

"Oh I am so glad that is not me in his place," Jiraiya exclaimed "That is going to sting really bad,"

"Hey loser hope you like sitting like a girl to pee,"

"Sasuske," the group exclaimed

"What. You know it's true,"

"Kagome has a crush on Kakashi sensei," Naruto loudly announced, Kakashi who had just arrived stopped dead in his tracks and the one eye that could be seen was as wide as a saucer

"Oh this is gonn hurt bad," Kiba said

"Yup severely," Aruka added

"Uh oh, crap look at the look in Kaggys eyes I've never seen that before," suddenly nervous Choji commented

"Oh my god look at that sadistic grin, boys a chill just ran up my spine," "Shikimaru stated

Bam

"What the hell? Everyone there said when an earthquake like tremor shook the ground

"Holy shit, since when is she able to punch the ground and split it open like Sakura who learned it from Tsunade?" shocked Aruka asked

"I taught her" isn't she a wonderful student? Graduated top of my class" Sakura told them then blew on and rubbed her nails on the collar of her shirt as if shining them

"Say what? Her fellow students and teachers exclaimed

"Yep, where did you think we we're disappearing to all of the time to hang out and give each other make overs? Sakura teased

"St-stop I'll fall in," panicking Naruto stammered

"And I should care why? Kagome bit "Crap" she exclaimed after looking and discovering Kakashi was present then turned eyes back to Naruto "Youuuuuuu" she yelled with rage

"Nooooooooo" Naruto cried out when a hand on his back pushed his in

"Kagome" Kakshi called

"Uh oh, gulp," the both embarrassed and nervous girl responded

"Might we have a word in private?

"She turned her head looking down at Naruto one last time "Die" she bit just to make him nervous

"Y-yes ma'am," the poor fear filled boy responded

She looked at Kakashi "Yes sensei," walked over to him and the two disappeared

"Is it true does she really have a crush on Kakashi? Tsunade asked

"Uh hah," Sakura and the other students simultaneously responded in confirmation

"Yeah we noticed it the way she looks at him when he's around, and when she thinks no one is looking at her," But we never mentioned it to her or anybody else" Sasuske told her

"Yeah leave it to Naruto blab it," Sakura said "Maybe I ought to pound him to," she added slamming a fist into the other hand

"I have a better idea," evilly smiling Tsunade exclaimed "Gather round kids." They all huddled like football players planning game maneuvers

Elsewhere in the forest with Kagome, and Kakashi

"Is this true? Kakashi asked

"Um, well," the nervous girl replied with eyes on the ground fiddling with the hem of her dress

"Kagome"

"Y-yes Kakashi sensei?

"Tell me is what Naruto said true?

"Ah I-I um," was her stammering reply

He put his index finger under her chin gently raising her head up so he could look into her eyes "And what do you think we should do about this?

"I-I don't," she stuttered

"I see" he replied

"Hmm" the caught off guard female mumbled when she felt his lips on hers and one hand on the back of her head cradling it

After a long gentle chaste kiss he pulled back "Now what do you think? He teased

"Hah, what? The dazed lost in the moment girl replied opening her eyes "I-I dunno" wha-what do you want to do?

"Hm, I think we need some private time to discuss this issue" what say you shall we? He answered offering her his arm and leading her into the deep part of the forest

Back at the village

"Oh no, grandma Tsunade help," Naruto pled

"Sorry kid it's your grave you dug it now you've got to lie in it, get comfy and make yourself at home,"

"But, but she'll kill me she's crazy," Naruto pled "Jiraiya sensei,"

"Sorry kid but this is one you're going to have to handle yourself,"

"Sasuske your powerful you can help stop her," Naruto said

"What and miss the show?" he tried to restrain a laugh threatening to escape "A free show at that you have got to be kidding,"

"Shit no, no please I'm sorry,"

"My face you put my face on your new perverted naked girl jutsu," Shizune snapped at Naruto who was now buried up to his neck in the ground "If not for Takemaru the villages best and fastest messenger pigeon I'd never have found out about this atrocity,"

"Grandma Tsunade you didn't" did you? Naruto fearing the answer asked

"Well I was just looking out for my favorite grandson,"

"And we helped," the others gloatingly added

"Youuuuu what? Stinking traitors,"

"I have an idea how you can make amends and I will forgive you and forget all about it," Shizune said

"Okay anything you want name it and I'll do it, believe it," he promised she whispered something in his ear "Whaaaaaaat? Oh you gotta be kidding me?

"It's that or die choice is yours, either way it's a win, win situation for me,"

"Oh okay, but I might want you to kill me afterward," he replied

"Good boy," Shizune said rubbing the top of his head with one hand, she then released the burial jutsu on him

"Okay lets go,"

"Now right away? I thought you were going to at least until tomorrow" he whined

"This or the hole, and besides the day is still so young and sunny so you won't catch a cold,"

"Ohhhhh, okay," a puff of white smoke appeared then standing there was Naruto a female version of himself buck naked unlike all the other times when clouds covered his chest and lower half he was completely exposed with all revealed "This is so humiliating, never mind her killing me this alone will get the job done,"

"Come on honey I'm a horny baker now show us your money maker," Kiba taunted his friend as he began his embarrassing nude walk through the village

"Hey I've got a twenty," one village guy said waiving the bill at poor Naruto

"I've got a hundred with your name on it sweet cakes," another added holding up a one hundred dollar bill

"Hell with those goods ya got I'll marry you," a large blacksmith told him

"Bastards," Naruto snapped

"Hey toots I'll take you but you've got to let me take it for a test drive first," a ninety year old man offered

"Eew you gotta be kidding me you're old enough to be my grandfather ya old geezer," Naruto griped

"I may be old but I like em young, hope you can keep up youngster because this old stallion is loaded with experience and loves to go all night long,"

"Why you, you," Naruto was about to say something raw when

"Hey baby will you bear my children? With your looks they will be beautiful" a young guy asked

"You bastards it's me Naruto,"

"Yeah we know Naruto's hot sister Naruta," a man who knew Naruto well needled, actually they all knew it was him, but hey how many opportunities does one get to torment the village pranking holy terror?

"You dirty sick no good low life perverted sons of," he started but was cut off

"Hey if you feel like getting lucky we can come back for you tomorrow," Sasuske needled "What say you guys?

"Sure" the rest of the group agreed

"Yeah ever girl needs a strong man," Sakura teased

"Oh my God," Jiraiya exclaimed

"Poor kid I feel for him," Aruka said "But never tell him I said that

Tsunade told Shizume what he had done to Kagome earlier "He razzed her in front of everybody now they all know, well then this is poetic justice for her to," Tsunade told her the rest "So Kagome can punch and open the ground like you can?

"Yup Sakura taught her how, she did it and shoved Naruto in," Tsunade added

"So how did Kakashi react?

"He told Kagome they needed to talk in private," Tsunade answered

"How long have they been gone?

"I hadn't noticed till you mentioned a while before you got here, and up until now," Tsunade replied

"So close to two hours now, maybe they decided to do more than talk," Shizune said and winked

"Well Kagome just became of age so she's legal if they hook up he won't get in trouble,"

"That's our boy," Jiraiya, and Aruka teased like two proud fathers

"Great he's getting loving while I'm getting humiliated," Naruto grouched

"Keep walking" quietly please? Shizune commanded

"Damn forgot Kurama's in there so he has his keen fox hearing," Tsunade said

"Not to worry ladies I'll take care of this so keep on talking," Sakura told them then in a flash she was behind Naruto smack "Come on sweet buns get a move on," she needled after smacking his bare ass

"Sakura damn you," he griped then a thought entered his sneaky mind "Do that when I'm back in my normal form, dare ya" what'll happen then? She growled he grinned smugly

"Perverted bastard," his following behind him male classmates exclaimed

PLZ REVIEW!


	5. AN!

i would like to make an announcement!

i would not have this good of a story if it wasn't for my friend and beta Raven-2010.

so the credit goes to her as well.


	6. School Hell Naruto Style!

**School Hell Naruto Style**

It had been five weeks and Naruto had finally stopped morning over the loss of his beloved ramen soon returning to his pranking hellion self. He grinned madly when he heard there were new students coming Naruto always loved making new friends especially hell raisers like himself. Kakashi, Jiraiya, Tsunade and the rest of the school staff however silently prayed for the opposite one Naruto was bad enough but two would end the world

**Kurama**

"Isn't one of you enough you'd unleash another upon the poor unsuspecting innocent world. What has humanity ever done to you?

**Naruto**

"It stuck me with you" ain't that a kick in the ass?

**Kurama**

"You've been in your nest sitting on that egg for a million years yet the chick inside aka your so called brain hasn't hatched yet,"

**Naruto**

"Somebody overdose on Viagra? He decided to try his new weapon against the fox "Looks like someone's going to have a very busy front paw,"

**Kurama**

"Shhh, keep it down, will you? We do not need the others to hear you blabbing about your secret activities, it's bad enough I have to live in here and bare the humiliation alone I don't need others knowing about it,"

**Naruto**

"I'm going to come in there and kick your ass, kick it so bad you'll be in a coma for a month believe it,"

**Kurama**

"Can dish it out but can't take it" hah? That is why you'll never be hokage believe it," ending it with Naruto's famous punchline and that was the clever foxes epic winning kill shot and he knew it when Naruto who was to shocked to react remained silent

With the others

"They're at it again," Jiraiya announced

"So I see the look on his face tells all," Kakashi added

"You know if the fox ever gets out on his own we could put them in an arena hold a match and take bets on who'd win and who'd kill who first," Aruka joked

"Men," Tsunade exclaimed

"And they have the peanuts oops excuse me I mean raisins to call us sadistic," Kagome teased the males glared

"Yes but you females are the only ones who go into homicidal kill mode every month," Sasuke needled

"Is that so? Sakura said glaring at her intended murder victim

"Oh I've got cramps," Kagome, Ino, and Hinata groaned holding their stomachs

"Really bad never had em this bad before," Kagome added "Somebody please kill me now,"

"Ah me to," adding her piece of wood to the bonfire Shizune moaned

Naruto and Kurama "Cramps ruuuuuuun," and immediately sped off

"I feel crampy too," Tsunade added and started rubbing her stomach "Need to kill and destroy something I think I feel a rampage coming on,"

"Run for your lives boys," Juraiya teased

"Yes and make sure you don't trip ladies," Kakashi sadistically needled

"Ohhhhhhhhh crap," Choji, Kiba, and Shino exclaimed Shino's bugs dove going deep into hiding beneath his clothes "Ruuuuun" they shouted fleeing like rabbits being chased by gun toting hunters

"Thanks a lot Sasuke you had to start it by going there," Kiba bit

"Dig a grave I'm killing you later bean pole," Choji added

"Shall we ladies? Kagome sweetly asked smiling evilly

"Ah what the hell I could use a good workout," Tsunade replied "Let's roll girls," she added hitting an open palm with a balled up fist they began their pursuit of the poor males

"What a drag," Shikamaru exclaimed "Wimps asked for it though" don't they know the golden rules never give females an inning they'll take it every time and nail ya in ways you cannot imagine and do not want to know about? And never rag them about the monthly visit that'll just get you killed" didn't they read the ninja hand book female do's and don'ts? I thought it was required study" he joked smirking

"Nope" the males there replied

"Well of course you know Sasuke started it to get a chase," Jiraiya exclaimed

"I think Naruto and Kurama escaped unscathed," Aruka pointed out

"I should think so they did make a swift beeline into the forest the second cramps were mentioned" smiling Kakashi exclaimed

"After all they were the first to flee," Sai added "Excellent evasive maneuver,"

"Wise choice gang banged by murderous females is no fun, but if it is by amorous women that is a different story," grinning Jiraiya said

"Such a letch," Aruka responded

"What? I just know good living and besides it is all research for my new book,"

"What your how to book on letchery? His male comrades teased

"Laugh it up when my book is published you guys aren't getting any autographed copies," with his nose up in the air feigning indignant ion Jiraiya said

"Guy where were you all this time? Aruka asked when Guy came into view

"Like any sane man sensing impending female wrath I hid I was behind that tree over there,"

"Where is your protégé he's usually with you?" Jiraiya asked

"Like me Lee to sensed approaching doom and possible death nearing in fact he took off for parts unknown just about the same time as Naruto they'll most likely run into each other soon,"

With Naruto and Kurama deep in the forest

**Naruto**

"Phew we made it and in one piece," he breathed a sigh of relief sitting under a tree

**Kurama**

"Yeah my fur's still intact so I'm good,"

**Naruto**

"Hehehehehe,"

**Kurama**

"What's so funny?

**Naruto**

"Your fur's still intact like grandma Tsunade could reach in and snag ya bald,"

**Kurama**

"Are you sure she cannot? Dead silence "I rest my case,"

**Naruto**

"Oh don't say that man not even as a joke it's just way too creepy to think about," at the same time Naruto shivered making the now happy fox grin 'Must erase horrible image from fried brain' he thought

**Kurama**

"I heard that,"

**Maruto**

"Oh great I'm roomies with the kyuubi FFBI,"

**Kurama**

"FFBI I thought it was FBI Federal Bureau of Investigations genius,"

**Naruto**

"No it's FFBI Fox Federal Bureau of Invade-igations invade investigations combine the two invade-igations" get it? Kurama was about to respond

"Ahhhhh" Kurama and Naruto shrieked when they were suddenly startled

"Oh no they found us," ready to run Naruto exclaimed

"Relax it is only me," someone said as they came forth and showed themselves

"Bushy brows, thank God I thought it was the female hit squad," Naruto replied

"Yes Guy sensei and I sensed a female assassin squad forming and hid,"

"Hehehe good choice, that is the time when girls are the most dangerous," grinning Naruto replied "Hey ya hungry? Wanna help me eat some of this food? He offered pulling out two large submarine sandwiches loaded with sliced beef "I was saving these for later but we need energy man,"

"I would never refuse a comrade in need my assistance," noticing Naruto's sudden big cheesy grin Lee asked what was going on

"Damn fox is not only drooling he's doing a happy dance,"

"Ah yes he to loves his meat," smiling Lee responded "Bon appetite Kurama,"

Two days later

"Hey Ruto hear we're getting new students," Shino announced

"Yeah I'm totally psyched," Naruto replied

"As long as they aren't like you," Kiba needled

"What's that supposed to mean? Naruto snapped

"Pranking hellion graffiti artist the village is his canvas holy terror" remember? Sasuke reminded

"Hey, you jerks I was a kid then,"

"Hah, like that'd stop you," Shikamaru said "What a drag,"

"Yeah boys with paint and brush in hand the village will still be his canvas when he's eighty," Choji added

"Yeah and I'll start with your house," smirking Naruto shot back

"Do you really want to die that bad? Choji replied "Do you?

"Sure" why not? I've got nothing better to do" Choji groaned in defeat

With the teachers

"Ah free comedy nothing like it." Jiraiya exclaimed

"Yeah remember when we were that age? Kakashi asked his friends

"Yes good times, good times those were," Aruka added

"Choji made a valid point Naruto will still be raising hell when he's old," Guy said

"Oh it makes my head ache just thinking about it," with one hand on her head as if in pain Tsunade exclaimed

"Don't worry folks I'll still be here to kick his ass when he tries," Sakura said

"Us to," the rest of the females added

With a big cheesy grin "Sakura can kick my ass anytime and anywhere she wants preferably alone at my place or in the woods," Naruto said winking then batting his eyes "But you jerks aren't invited remember that,"

"Naruuuuuto," Sakura responded

"Yeeeees wife," wide eyed and white faced with shock Sakura for the for the first time had no comeback

"Oh Sakura will you marry me? The other males present teased with their right hands over their hearts grinning

"Don't have any babies the village will never survive and will crumble to ruins," Sai added

Later that day

"Hey look they must be the newbies," Sai pointed out

"A guy and a girl she's cute to," Naruto said looking at the silver haired girl

"Yeah he's pretty cute to," Hinata exclaimed while looking at the new red haired boy

In class a while later

"Class this is Kiki Yamamata, and Tenshi Torugami," Kakashi announced

"Welcome" the students greeted

"Hi" they replied

"Oh no," Sasuke groaned

"What's your problem, forget to let that fart from nineteen ninety nine out? Naruto badgered

"Uh gotta go," and without another word Sasuke bolted to and jumped out of the window

"Don't forget to release the hostages," Naruto yelled to his retreating friend

"Eeeeeeew gross," the girls groaned

"Hey what the hell was that for?" Naruto griped after being hit on the head with a rolled up bunch of papers

"Release the hostages? Looking at each other Aruka, Kakashi, and Sai, exclaimed

"See and you guys call me the perverted one," Jiraiya pointed out

"You know he's been around you too long way to long," Tsunade said

"Hey he developed the pervy Jutsu he uses all on his own I had nothing to do with it or this," Jiraiya shot back

"You're still a bad influence on an innocent mind,"

"If you say so grandma Tsunade," Jiraiya needled using Naruto's nick name for her she growled at him "Now, now grandma take it easy at your age you need to take it slow,"

"Why you,"

"Baby steps dear remember baby steps," how he loved riling her they were the older version of Sakura and Naruto at war his comrades silently grinned

Two weeks later

Kiki and Tenshi were like peas in a pod hardly saying anything to anyone they were always together and stayed mostly to themselves. Several times Sakura invited Kiki to sit with the boys, just as the boys asked Toru to sit with them both always politely declined. Sasuke wasn't there he had called in sick and was held up in his own place

"What's with you your panties riding up to high," Kiba needled his forlorn looking friend

"No dweeb,"

"Then what is it?" Kiba replied

"Well I can't believe it someone cleaned out my entire stash of Ramen," Naruto answered

"What? How the hell? Shikamaru asked

"Damn and you had enough for six months or more," Choji said "Maybe longer,"

"Now that you mention it some of my weapons disappeared out of my room," Shino added

"Hey I've got something missing too," Sakura started but was cut off

"What your deluxe silk Kotex pad? Naruto teased "Ow" he yelped after being swatted

"No wilting Willy somebody took my brand new rose red dress that I bought to wear on special occasions,"

"For our hot date don't worry sweet cheeks ya won't be in it long," Naruto taunted he loved riling the object of his affections

Sakura glared "Keep it up weeping Wanda and you're gonna get a hot express ticket to hell,"

"Ooooo I love it when you talk dirty to me you man you," with a dreamy moon eyed look and his clamped together hands held against one cheek Naruto taunte "Spank me mama spank me it really turns me on,"

"I got hit to," Kiba announced

"So what did the thief get you for? Hinata asked

"Well I bought this ham it weighs about thirty pounds I had planned on cooking it and inviting you guys over for a surprise dinner, guess that's gone now," Kiba told them

"Our haaaaaaam," both Naruto and Kurama loudly cried out

"Oh Kiba's famous honey coated pineapples and a bit of clove on it roast ham," licking her lips Ino exclaimed

"I say when we find the culprit we kill em," eyes filled with murderous intent Kagome added

"Eee, she's creeping me out," cringing Naruto said

"I'm missing some of my comic book collection," Shikamaru added

**Kurama**

"Sniff, sniff," Naruto heard

**Naruto**

"What's the matter you forget to put deodorant on?

**Kurama**

"No simple Sara don't you smell tha? The fox was cut off by a voice

"Aruka Sensei," a voice called out Aruka turned to look

"Yes?

"Can I have a? Tenshi started to ask

Kagome looked and seeing what he wanted "Here I've got one you can have," she then got up and headed toward his desk bringing him a pencil

"Thank yo," he started to say as he took the pencil but paused when he saw the look on Kagome's face

Kiki was glaring daggers "Sure glad to help," Kagome said and walked away 'Why does this bitch remind me so much of Kikyo? Then paused in thought 'Oh yeah evil hateful and colder than a corpse'

"Damn bitchy much? Sakura whispered to Kagome when she sat back down

"I know right? You'd think I tried to rob the witch or something"

"Hag overdosed on bitch pills," smartass Naruto wisecracked "Sadly there's no cure for that,"

"Yes there is," Sakura said

"Like what?

"A good ass kicking," hitting a fist into an open hand Sakura said

"Oh man girls are scary," Naruto whispered

**Kurama**

"Duh"

**Naruto**

"What you a big strong towering over the village demon afraid of a girl?

**Kurama**

"Hey a female is a female in any species any male with half a brain instinctively knows to make himself scarce and go in hiding when they are on the warpath,"

**Naruto**

"Don't worry bro if there's one thing I'm good at it is hiding I'll keep us safe,"

**Kurama**

"Your my hero," he teased

"Looks like war has been declared gentlemen," Kakashi exclaimed

"Ah not even here a month yet and already battle lines have been drawn," Jiraiya added

"I don't care so long as they don't destroy my classroom and keep it elsewhere I do not care if they kill each other," Grinning Aruka exclaimed

Over the next few days things became stranger and stranger by the day and weird things started happening "Hey what the hell? Kagome exclaimed when after opening her locker door sand went down the front of her shirt swiftly traveling under the rest of her clothes "Son of a,"

"Wow this out does my pranks," Naruto exclaimed

With observers

'I wouldn't mind being that sand' Observing Kakashi thought

"Oh my I would not mind being that sand right now," a familiar voice broke the silence

"Growl, Jiraiya,"

"Well that is what you were thinking don't even bother denying it. Oh those luscious melons so full ripe and ready for harvesting," moving his hands as if kneading dough

"Really I know of an over ripe melon that is desperately in need of harvesting," Kakashi bit a chidori forming in one hand

With Naruto and the others

"Uh oh," Naruto exclaimed

"What'd you remember some ramen you missed out on? Kiba teased

"No I missed my period wonder if I'm knocked up clitorisia pervy sage is bugging the hell out of Kakashi sensei,"

"How the hell did you hear that their all the way at the opposite end of the hall,"

"Demon here, remember? Kurama's ears are like top secret high powered military antennas they pick up everything," grinning like a proud father Naruto gloated

"Well boys if we stand him in the window we can get free cable channels," Shino needled

"Yeah I would never turn down free porn," Shikamaru added

"Shut up, and eew porn," Naruto replied

"Okay so what'd you hear? Choji asked

"Jiraiya is ragging the crap out of Kakashi sensei about how he was wishing he was the sand down Kagome's shirt, than added luscious melons so full and ripe ready for harvesting, hehehehehe," laughing Naruto replied

"Well it was nice knowing Jiraiya while it lasted," Kiba said

"Yeah you know the old saying one perv can spot a fellow perv a mile away," Shino added

"Yes but unlike Jiraiya Kakashi is a one woman perv," grinning Kiba exclaimed

Back with Kagome

"I bet I know who is responsible for this," Kagome snapped

"Kiki," Sakura said

"I'll be happy to arrange for her death for you," Ino teased

Later on

"Ah that was a good work out all I need now is a nice shower," Kagome said

"Amen sister," Hinata added

"Shall we girls? Sakura teased pointing to the shower room

"Yes mom," Ino replied

"Do we get cookies and milk if we cooperate? Hinata teased

"Can we come too? Naruto who felt like being a ball buster started

"Try and you die fox boy," Hinata snapped "Believe it,"

"Oh talk dirty to me baby I love it when you play rough," Naruto continued taunting "Turn it up a notch and I'll do a strip tease for ya,"

"Relax girls the last thing Naruto is, is a pervert no worries," Sakura said

"Sakura you're such a buzz kill" you know that? Naruto replied

"Ah shut it Ramen Uzumaki,"

"Later boys," Kagome sweetly exclaimed then turning and leaving with her female companions

Minutes passed by

"Ahhhh my ears make it stop please make it stop?" with their hands tightly clamped over their highly sensitive ears Kurama and Naruto wailed after an ear piercing shriek tore through the school causing all to come to a stop

"Uh oh," Tsunade exclaimed, Shizune nodded then the two sped off

"Boys do you think we'll have to evacuate the school? Sasuke teased

"Oh no I'm not going any damn where till after I find out what is going on after all we just nearly permanently lost our hearing," Naruto said "Grandma Tsunade what gives? He asked returning Tsunade

"Oh it isn't good even you the master prankster will be astounded,"

"Uh oh," Naruto exclaimed

"So what happened? Shino asked

"Well it seems after a nice hot shower our little Kaggy had to go she sat down and a nozzle thing some moron rigged shot ice cold water ah and," Tsunade was trying to find a way to word it

"You mean she sat down the nozzle went up there and? Naruto asked

"Exactly"

"Oh shit, ah damn it let go grandma Tsunade," Naruto pled as his attempt to flee was halted "What are you grabbing me for I didn't do it, hey just as for guys below the waist is a no hit zone same rules apply to girls even I'm not that low," he paused "I just don't wanna be here when the building comes down thank you so much she's as bad as Sakura,"

"Ooooo" cringing Kiba was heard

"What you just found out you've got fleas? Well you are part dog" Sai needled

"No lord simpington I could not help the image that just flashed in my mind what if a boy had sat there?" Kiba said

"Eew nozzle rape," Shikamaru replied "You just made my blood run cold what a drag,"

"That is one door that should never be opened," Sai commented

Over a week later

If they thought things were weird as it was little did they know things were about to become a whole lot stranger Sasuke was coming back along with a shocking surprise. It had been over a week since the nozzle incident and things were back to normal

"So Kaggy my love what's on today's menu? With one arm wrapped around Kagome's shoulders Naruto teased

"Sorry doll face can't tell you until the wedding night,"

"So cruel,"

"You can watch if you want," she teased

Everyone sat down for lunch Kagome sat down with her friends put her lunch bag on the table and began opening dreamingly thinking about her favorite lunch treat double cheese homemade Lasagna. The scent alone was driving Naruto mad even Kurama seemed to enjoy it, She reached in and pulled out the wrapped in foil meal a beautiful smile appearing on her face

"Don't forget my piece after all I am a growing boy," Naruto teased every time she had this he teased

In a flash second Naruto saw glowing red eyes and immediately went on high alert "No put me down Kakashi sensei, let me go dammit," she protested after an arm going around her waist holding her up off the ground "Let go I mean it,"

"No can do," he replied

"Let go turn me loose," she demanded

"What the hell? Naruto said then pulled the her meal to him to get a look "Oh yeah definitely grounds for justifiable homicide," inside the foil wrapper sat a bloody Kotex pad that replaced the lasagna

"Yeah and I can do it if somebody will freaking let go of me," Kagome yelled

"Kaggy" Naruto called

"Yeah what?"

"Can you give me a sec? if Kakashi sensei sets you down will you hear me out before committing homicide?

"Nooooooo" she screamed blood red eyes burning with pure hate filled rage claws and fangs sprouting before their eyes as mad as she had gotten in the past this had never happened before

"She's gone into blood rage the demon side is nearly in full control," Jiraiya said

"Quick prepare the subjugation," Tsunade told them then she Aruka Sai and Jiraiya surrounded her beginning the hand signs to create the subjugation spell Shizune had the subjugation binding sutras in hand

"Oh no," Kakashi said all eyes turned to him her body was becoming extremely hot soon he would be forced to release her

"Like Kurama," Shizune exclaimed

"Say what? Shino asked

"Fire demon, Kurama is a kitsune his element is fire," Sai explained

"Wolf demon with fire powers we are so screwed," Ino said

"Naruto," Kakashi spoke with concern when he saw Naruto's fox cloaking appearing

"Relax Kakashi sensei Kurama and wolf demon both canines I can handle her better this way believe it,"

"Hurry up if you haven't noticed yet she's beginning her first transformation," Kakashi pointed out she already had wolf ears and was changing, a growl halted her struggling against kakashi's hold

"Put her down," came Naruto's commanding deep demonic voice. Hesitantly Kakashi conceded

Naruto allowed Kurama's animalistic instincts to guide his actions "Whine," Kagome whimpered when Naruto's fangs latched onto the back of her neck

Just like in the animal kingdom still holding on Naruto pinned her beneath him asserting alpha male dominance forcing the female to submit after a few snarls attempted bites and struggling she relented "Good girl,"

"Damn fox," she called him

"Yeah I love you to," he helped her up "Now will you hear me out? She nodded in agreement with his arm around her shoulders "Kaggy my pet walk with me talk with me," grinning Naruto said

"Oh" why do I feel like the world is about to come to an end? Tsunade exclaimed

A streak whizzed by "Did you see where he went? Yamata whispered in Kakashi's ear

"Gulp"

"Naruto lab chemicals," Saske said

"Crap" Kiba ran like hell "Attention def con twenty five red alert the Narumaki red alert is now in affect this is not a drill," a booming voice came over the PA system "Repeat the Narumaki alert is now in affect this is not a drill,"

"Oh" Kakashi groaned one hand on his head as if in pain from a headache

"I know I have just returned after being away for a few weeks" but would somebody mind telling me what a Narumaki alert? Jiraiya asked

"Kiba's little system,"

"Yeah Naruto Uzumaki half of his first name and the last part of his last name combined Narumaki Naruto's in the lab school warning," Ino told them

"Lovely, well I can see his point Naruto plus laboratory filed with dangerous chemicals could be very disastrous," Jiraiya replied

Shikamaru sniffed "That is not human blood on that Kotex pad that replaced Kagome's Lasagna," Shikamaru announced "It's beef blood,"

"Still nasty though," Sakura said

"Kiki" the others spoke at the same time

"What a drag hasn't she got anything better to do?" Shikamaru added

"Let's go," Kakashi said motioning the others to follow him

"Yeah gotta make sure he doesn't blow the school up," smirking Aruka replied

"I don't think that will be a problem it seems he and Kagome share the same target" let's let the kids be what do you say? Jiraiya asked they agreed and stopped heading toward the lab

"Freaky Kiki," Ino said "You know though I never said anything before I never liked her from the start, I'm glad she finally showed what an ass she is just wish she would have done it in far milder nondestructive ways,"

"Remember that day I split class then didn't come back due to illness? The others nodded "Well if I hadn't it would have been me instead of Kagome killing her instead," Sasuke told them

"So what happened? Sakura asked

"That time I was staying at the rain village for a while I ran into her one day she said hi so did I and here's where the problem starts she wanted to be more then friends way more I couldn't see her that way after a few days of her hounding I told her I wasn't interested. Not long after that a nasty rumor started circulating that I was gay and had male lovers, eew, I never wanted to kill someone as badly as I wanted to kill her,"

"That bitch," Sakura bit "Maybe I ought to go give her a few lumps,"

The following day

"Morning all," Kagome greeted with a bright angelic smile

"Yo peeps," Naruto said wearing a cat that ate canary grin

"Um should I be concerned? After yesterday and now you two are smiling like a pair of angels" what's up?

"Nothin teach," Naruto and Kagome answered

"I see," Kakashi replied "Well I guess as long as no one turns up dead it's okay,"

"So when's the wedding," Sasuke started the ball rolling

"When she decides to make an honest man out of me," Naruto said

"Yeah well ya could at least warn a girl before you hump her next time," Kagome needled Naruto

"Subduing is not humping" and the rest of you will you shut the hell up? Naruto snapped

Naruto was sitting on a chair with his feet up on the table with the chair tilted backwards on two legs and his arms in back of his head looking as if waiting for something. Suddenly the other students started coughing and moving away from a certain area

"Eew, what's that stench? A boy asked

"Ah it smells like something crawled in here and died," another male added

"I think I am going to be sick," a girl added quickly clamping a hand over her mouth

Then they saw Kiki coming "Rank, when's the last time you had a bath? Someone else asked

"Well you've got your nerve I just had a bath," Kiki bit

"Could'a fooled me," one of the boys said

"Naruto what did you? Kakashi asked

"Yeah spill it goldy locks," Tsunade ordered

"Just a little cocktail," Naruto teasingly replied

"And?

"Well she takes her bath at the same time every day like clockwork," Naruto replied "I replaced her bath salt,"

"Oh boy," the teachers exclaimed

"What? I made her a lovely batch of lilac scented bath salt only with the chemical concoction I added to it once it's added to water and makes contact with skin it changes she will be smelling like a dozen skunks for about three days"

"Cough holy cough mother," Sasuke managed to stop choking on the soda in his mouth when he started laughing

"I take it you approve? Naruto teased

"Hey after she told everybody in the rain village I was gay and had male lovers after refusing to go out with me hell yeah" why do you think I left the class that day then took sick time off? I wasn't sick I would have been the one killing her instead of Kagome"

"What the? Kiki started after sniffing herself she ran to go take another bath

"Welcome to au de Uzumaki the fanciest perfume shop in all of Japan," Jiraiya said

"I aims to please," Naruto responded

About 30 minutes later

"You, you did this," Kiki snapped at Kagome

"Don't know what your talkin about sweetness," Kagome taunted

"My bath salt you did it I know you did,"

"Like you did the sand down my shirt ice water nozzle replacing my lasagna with a bloody Kotex pad" Kagome reminded "Ring a bell for ya? If it doesn't I will be more than happy to ring your bell"

"Prove it,"

"Don't need to know you did,"

"You," Kiki

"Ah when the hell are you going to brush your teeth your breath is foul," Kagome needled one hand clamped over her mouth to dumbfounded to speak Kiki swiftly turned and stomped off

After 5 minutes had passed

Kik came back and practically in Kagome's face why is my toothbrush brown?

"Really? That'd be because I cleaned the toilet with it you that real nasty one with the brown ring around the inside the bowl it doesn't have poo ring,"

"Cough, gag" wh-what?

"Ring around the Rosie no more poo ring around the bowlsy," Naruto taunted

"You son of a." she started

"Wouldn't finish that remark or go there if I were you because downing my mother will get you killed for sure," Naruto warned she ran looking for the nearest sink to wash in "Well I think that went splendidly" what say you?

"Woo hoo makes my day revenge is better than Christmas I always hated that little snot anyway," Ino said they all hah'd "Yeah when I first saw her I didn't like her, Thank you Ruto,"

"Hah" Naruto exclaimed when she kissed him on the cheek "Hehehe just call me Santaruto baby,"

3 am the following morning

"Ahhh," boom

People ran to see what was going on "What the hell was that?

"Hey look isn't that that Kiki girls place? One woman asked

"Sure is," a man answered

"Naruto" looking at each other Shizume, Jiraiya, Kakashi, Tsunade, and Aruka said

"What a drag," Shikamaru exclaimed

"Look smoke I think the place is on fire," a man said pointing to the smoke pouring out of Kiki's windows

Bang, bang, bang "Yeah keep your undies on I'm comin already," a gruff voice answered from behind the door they were banging on the door opened "Yawn, morning all not that I mind you visiting" but don't ya think it's a bit early?

"Naruto you've gone too far this time," Tsunade bit

"Yes setting fire that is dangerously going beyond pranking," Kakashi snapped

"What were you thinking? Jiraiya asked

"Relax" Naruto replied

"Relax fires not only destroy they kill," Aruka yelled

"Relax you bunch of drama queens it's only a smoke bomb no biggie it was a," he started

"A timer release set smoke bomb," Kakashi finished for him

"Exactly" Do you really think I'd set a fire? Gee thanks for the trust"

"Kid you never cease to amaze me," Jiraiya exclaimed

"Thanks pervy sage," the grinning boy replied "But I think you better get over there fast think and take a look you might find it really interesting,"

"Let's go," Kakashi spoke signaling the others to follow

"Hello" the voice on the phone said

"It's time Kaggy," Naruto replied

"On my way,"

At Kiki's place

"Are you alright? Shizune asked

"Oh it's nothing you can go now just a scorched frying pan too much oil" when will I ever learn? Hehe" she kind of laughed

"Well let's have a look no harm in making sure," Aruka said

"No it's oka," Kiki started but was cut off mean while Naruto and his friends arrived Aruka opened the living room closet door

"Hey aren't those some of Shikamaru's missing comic books? Naruto called out loudly

"My dress why you," Fuming Sakura started but was interrupted

"My weapons," Shino said

"Ah hah," Kiba exclaimed and rushed into the kitchen returning with something "And my ham

"Naruto looked up at the shelf my ramen all of my ramen,"

"And look something extra," Jiraiya who had suddenly stopped his search and held something up "Interesting party favor,"

"Must be at least fifteen pounds of marijuana," Kakashi said

"I took the rest of that stuff but the reefer is not mine I don't do drugs," Kiki quickly clamping a hand over her mouth when she realized her mistake but it was too late

"Sounds like a confession to me" what say you? Shizune added

"It sure is the others said,"

"That's it your out of here now, take her to the holding cell she is to be locked up until her trial," Tsunade ordered the two guards got on each side of her

"Tra, tra trial she stammered,"

"You heard me thievery is one of the major no, no's in this village punishable by imprisonment or banishment from this village or both. Not only here but in all the villages as well when something like this happens each village receives a report and copies of the case files,"

"But I don't know how any of that stuff got here," she lied "She did it that Higarashi bitch did it she set me up,"

"After all you've done it's a miracle you're still alive," Tsunade snapped "So don't waste my time and insult my intelligence by being stupid enough to believe that,"

Elsewhere after everything died down

"Fifteen pounds of reefer Sasuke that was pure genius," Naruto said

"Thanks I thought so I finally got even," Sasuke replied

"Damn man where the hell did you get so much weed? Shino asked

"I know a dude who grows the stuff," Sasuke told them

"Yo reefer man you got the hook up," Naruto teased

"Well we're rid of that skank," Hinata added

"I we're not done yet," Naruto said

"Naruto you couldn't possibly have anything left to do to her," Choji exclaimed

"Wanna bet internet bro?" Naruto replied waving back and forth a dvd held between his fingers

"But how the hell did you find out about her stolen goods stash? Hinata asked

"Well by the way she was acting with Kagome and stuff suddenly turning up missing I was suspicious so I used my transformation jutsu to look like her that way if anyone saw me they'd think nothing of it. Then I got into her place did some snooping and found everything. Sasuke snuck around back I unlocked the window and let him and his lovely reefer in, he told me he had to be the one to plant the weed in back of her couch or no dice,"

"He is a master criminal," Kiba said "I am such a proud mother," Sakura teased

**A/N **Just so people who are new to this I just want to let you know you may see similar or same material being used in stories by me Kitty2142 and me the very awesome and funny Raven2010 we did not plagiarize each other we share story ideas and writing. Lol and thanks. we co-write this story so suck it.


	7. AN

people yes kurama is kagome's father but since midoriko is a miko and human she turned out to be a wolf biju instead of a fox, you may not like it if not then stop reading the story if you don't like it.{midoriko is kagome's mother that was not a joke between them}

thank you,

kitty

raven


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